Staying Focused

Struggling- that's what I've been doing. It is so natural for me to want to take over and control the situation. But the situation is not mine to control, it is his. There is no way I can do this journey without him, not for a second. This was not my brilliant idea but at times I like to take credit for it- this is his desire for me, for us. This is how he has commissioned us to serve him.

I cannot do it without him. When I try to take control emotions enter in, chaos, frustration, questioning and personal desires seep into what is his, what is beautiful and what is pleasing. I need to step aside. I need to give my heart and soul to him. I need to live in peace and obey.

Honestly, I am happier that way. It seems so right when he is in control. We live in a world where their are so many standards but they aren't his. They are the standards of people, people who are operating not my faith but by their own will. And they are certain they are right and quick to cast judgement.

Keep my eyes are on you, oh Lord, my desires are to follow you, to serve you in whatever capacity you direct me. You bring me great joy! You free me from the bondage of the world. Please keep me close to you, please strengthen me to follow only your desires. To you, I am eternally grateful.

Watched Over

We have a testimony of God's protection and overwhelming care for our family to share with you.

Saturday evening Hubby and I decided to pack up the car and head up to Gigi's to finish up some things at our house that is for sale since Hubby had Monday off. We loaded up and headed out around 9:15 p.m. We turned on to the highway, the girls were all ready to snooze. I took off my seat belt to adjust blankets and pillows for them before they fell asleep. I got my seat belt back on and within a minute Hubby and I both saw a Jeep Liberty in the oncoming traffic cross the grassy median and head straight for us. We were driving at probably 65 m.p.h. and that Jeep had to have been heading at us at the same speed.

I remember seeing the Jeep jump the median and fly in the air at our car. This moment will be forever locked into my head as I could only think of my two precious babies in the back of our car and thought, "This is it! It's all over." It is surreal...it was exactly like what you see in a movie...NOT in your real life. I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this really happened to us.

I am pretty sure I blacked out upon impact because the next thing I remember after hearing a crunching noise was Hubby SCREAMING at me, "The car's on fire, GET THE GIRLS!!!!" I am thankful for adrenaline and the rush that causes you to ACT. I looked up saw the air bag and flames bursting out of the front of the car that was pushed up to the windshield. I can not even begin to express to you the feeling that came over me when I was able to unbuckle my seat belt, get my car door open enough to get out and get Peanut's car door open, and see that Hubby was able to do the same thing for Pumpkin.

The first thing I thought when seeing the flames was, "Our doors...can we open the doors? The car's going to explode." Thank you JESUS that all the doors opened, nothing was jammed shut. I did have a difficult time getting Peanut's buckles undone because I was shaking so badly.

People started running to help us, I heard people screaming, "Call 9-1-1!" Hubby and I clung to the girls and watched as our car burned. Then I heard a woman yell, "That car is going to explode." At this point we ran far from the car and I realized my shoes had fallen off in the impact and I was barefoot. Daddy collapsed in the median with Pumpkin. I stood at the side in shock with Peanut clinging to me.

After a few minutes the fire went out and a very brave man ran to our car and got out the bags that were in the front and found Daddy's glasses. His glasses are fine. They have no dents, no scratches after being flung off from hitting the air bag.

Another kind man led us to his car to sit and wait for emergency crews to come. We watched as the flames began again. By this time the fire department was there and they put the fire out.

Peanut clung to me, whimpering if I tried to move her at all out of fear. Pumpkin clung to Daddy and was in shock not making any sounds, facial expressions or eye contact. As we sat in the car it became evident that we were hurting pretty bad but we were able to walk and answer questions clearly.

We were taken together in an ambulance to the hospital to be looked over. Daddy, Pumpkin, and Peanut had chest x-rays done. Daddy also had an x-ray on his knee done and a CAT scan. His report came back that he has a hairline fracture in his sternum. The girls and I have nasty burns across our necks and chests from the seat belt/car seat straps. I have major bruising on my right leg and all along my chest and abdomen where the seat belt was and my tailbone area. Did you know bruises can be just black? I'll just say that Pumpkin is officially weaned from nursing due to this...that is how bad the pain and bruising are on my chest. I kind of look like an abstract painting done in black and blue paint! I'll spare you photos of our yucky bruises abrasions, but here are a couple of the girls from where the car seat straps got them.

The fact that we walked away from this with no serious injuries is AMAZING! Sunday we were able to go see the car and get our belongings. While waiting in the office another family involved in the accident came to do the same thing. The woman's father said that when he arrived on the scene and saw our car, he was sure that someone was more than likely killed just by how awful our car looked.

When I laid eyes on our car, I cried. I can not believe that we just got out and walked away. I can't believe the doors opened because the front of the car was completely smashed in. The frame of the car held tight and did it's job. The air bags both deployed saving us from hitting the shattered windshield or dashboard. The girls car seats were still fastened tight into place.

Right after the accident, I was able to get ahold of Dobbie while we were on the scene. She got ahold of Gigi who jumped in his van with Special Friend and drove immediately to us. They got to the hospital just as we were discharged from the ER.

They stayed the night and day with us helping with the girls and helping us run some errands. We had to get new car seats for the girls as the old ones will be destroyed now that they have been through an accident. Those car seats did their jobs and held our girls tight into place.

Sunday evening we all headed to Gigi's house. Daddy and I are very sore. Daddy's chest is hurting quite a bit. I am in ALOT of pain in my upper body and can hardly move so lifting the girls and doing Mommy duties is going to be hard for a few days. We have help at Gigi's house so we will stay here for a few days before returning home.

According to the paper and from what we know the Jeep Liberty had two people in it. They were heading off an exit ramp that has a big curve in it. She must have been going too fast, missed that curve, sped off across the southbound traffic, come through the median, jumped it, the side of the Jeep slammed into the front of our car, sending us spinning, the Jeep hit a mini-van containing a mother and her 3 children, then went down the embankment on the opposite side of the road from where it began.

I believe all 10 victims were taken to the hospital. One of the Jeep passengers had a collapsed lung but was released. Everyone was able to walk away. Amazing!

On the drive to Gigi's I sat in the front seat and felt very skiddish most of the drive home. Peanut wanted the light on in the van after dark because she was afraid of the lights from the cars. Whenever I close my eyes I see that Jeep headed straight for us.

Daddy and I laid in bed in the wee hours of the morning praying and thanking God that both of our sweet babies were sleeping soundly in our home. We came home with both of them! Thank you Jesus!

Thank you to everyone who has been lifting our family up in prayers. We love you all and are so grateful for the phone calls, emails, Facebook comments and so on. It means so much more to us than you can ever know.

It ended up that the woman we met at the towing service who was also in the accident is a dear friend to another woman who knows quite a few of our friends from up north. That is crazy to me. She also knew that God intervened and protected all of us. It was encouraging to talk with her and share our experience together.

We are grateful for the strong frame on that little Toyota and that God held on to us tightly that night!

Trying not to Plan...

My heart is really having a hard time waiting. My desires to receive our TA and go to China are so deep. It feels like it has dragged on forever. I need to pray more and be at peace. I need to trust the Lord's perfect timing. At this point we seem to have different calendars going but mine does not dictate the timing of events- his does.

I am still hoping and praying for leaving on the 17th but am beginning to resign myself to the possibility of the 24th. A date I had previously never even considered. Don't even mention the following week to me- I'm not ready to hear it.

Just to give you a little insight- I had planned my c-section dates before I was even pregnant. Oh yes- now your understanding me a little more. Me? a control issue? well, maybe a just a touch of an itty bitty issue with that. Plus I am a planner- never go anywhere without my calendar. I now carry an eraser full time- gotta- I keep having to erase my trip to China.

So the girls (Sarah and Anna) will now beable to go to VBS at church- that's good. Sarah will start her park playdates. I will leave July open for all our adjustments.

The local clearance will not be a problem. Our agency will ask for it to be expedited if it gets close. They actually honor that for families that have TA's. That's good.

Our TA should arrive late next week or the next. At least it is on someone's desk at this point. (I'm trying to be positive).

Johnny's team outplayed the other team but lost by a freak goal- it was very disappointing for the boys but that's life. They have had an outstanding season! Now it will not conflict with China travel.

No info on the updates- still looking forward to that!

The list of to do's are not getting done. I now realize that if you clean the garage... it just gets dirty again, really fast. Why bother, why sweat it! The pile next to my bed- nawww, it is too nice outside to do that!

The weather is beautiful- we are planning to get out and enjoy it!

God bless those that have fought and are fighting for our country! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are America!

The Intruders!

The other day I was in the kitchen. The girls were at the counter having lunch and I heard someone come in through the mudroom, but who could it be? Everyone else was where they were supposed to be?

Guess who learned how to open the gate and then brought her younger sister with her? Yep, the red head! The blonde... she's just along for the ride!

The next day we were running errands and came home to you know who on the other side of the gate. She was caught red handed with a pair of dirty socks in her mouth, I might add!

Yes, it's true our dogs live a dogs life. No eating off the tables, no comfy Mommy and Daddy beds at night, no drinking out of the toilet bowl... it is what it is, they know nothing more and they are happy.

Well at least I thought they were happy, until they started breaking into the house, eating off the counter, stealing dirty socks and underwear- maybe I don't know what dog happy is?

Going for a Walk/ Bike Ride

Daddy was home today!!! After lunch we went for a walk and Peanut rode her bike. She got to test out her new helmet and knee pads that she picked out today! She went with Dora.

We let Pumpkin walk and walk she did. She would have walked the whole time if I had let her but I needed to speed things up near the end and carried her.

I just love these two little girls. Have I mentioned that lately?

They bring us so much joy everyday!

Waiting for ...

We are waiting for...

-our last update on the girls and praying for pictures.

-our TA to arrive!!

-to see Johnny soccer game this evening- if they win, it will be his biggest soccer accomplishment so far and his team will represent our state in regions in Ohio the end of June. Which is during the time we should be in China- we will need to evaluate the timing of all these very important events...

-to make plane reservations. The seat are filling up fast- and we need 5 and 7 seats together. In the past we have managed to trade seats with people to get together but on an international flight, who's going to give up their aisle seat for us...

-to make China travel plans, get CA and a gotcha day!

-to plan anything for the month of June and early July.

-to find out if the girls get their last gift- cakes to celebrate with their friends.

- to get our finding ad on our daughters from Brian Stuy research- it's been ordered!

- to find out if we need to wait to travel since our local background accidentally expired, we have resubmitted but are waiting to find out if this will slow our China travel down since it takes 3-5 weeks to get done- breath, breath, think happy thoughts...

Yes , I feel like my whole life is on hold, it is all about waiting, we are waiting, everybody is waiting. So yesterday as I was enjoying my day- I heard the song "I will worship while I'm waiting". Yes, that is what I will do, that is the most productive thing I can do and I kinda think he was givin me a big ole' hint. It seems so fitting and I had already started this post before hearing the song. He knows my thoughts, he knows my heart and he gave me a little direction. Thanks Lord!

Oh my- you all are so kind! What a day maker to have birthday wishes coming in throughout the day! I had a fabulous day. There was a coffee for ladies I used to do a bible study with for many years. I am never able to go to the coffees because I have the girls but the night before my Wednesday sitter called and mentioned switching Wednesday for Tuesday - I was all on board! It was so good to see the ladies. I am the younger one of the group- ha! When they found out it was my b-day (okay, yes I told them), they sang Happy Birthday to me- it was so sweet and they have beautiful voices! One of my dearest friends husband has cancer and she was also there- it was so god to see here, visit and let her know we have been praying for their family! I just knew God orchestrated the whole thing!

We had a family dinner in the evening! Such blessing, such a wonderful day! My heart is bursting with gratitude to our dear Heavenly Father!

Pics coming soon!

It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Summer

It has been very hot this week. Summer is here. Here are some "summer" fun things we have been doing.

We broke out the pool again today. It has been weeks since our last really warm spell so it has sat on the corner of the deck pretty lonely. Peanut had a ball in it today although she had just as much fun playing in the bucket beside it. Haha!

We are getting our crafty groove back on too. Today we painted some rocks together.

We love to go down to the pond and watch the geese. They have babies now so it has been super fun to watch the little ones getting big so fast. Today Peanut saw a robin sitting on the sidewalk and said, "Ah! Mom, look! It's a baby goose." Haha! An older gent was at the pond today feeding the geese and shared his stash of bread with us. The girls enjoyed watching them eat up the treats.

Pumpkin "talks" up a storm while watching the geese.

Gigi brought Peanut a "new-to-her" bike. She has had great fun testing it out and learning to brake. I usually have to hold her hand on hills going up and down which is fun to navigate while pushing Pumpkin in a stroller. We manage!

And play dates...summer excursions to visit friends. Here are the girls with some of their new buddies from church.

These boys' sweet Mama broke out the face paint and painted up the kids' faces. Peanut wanted to be a butterfly!

Hooray for friends!

The summer months are upon us. We look forward to the many exciting things that summer has in store. Bring it on!

It's My...

Birthday! Yep, tomorrow the 25th is the big day! I'm (gulp) 52 yrs old, but I feel like I'm 30! Really, I can't believe I am fifty whatever... I feel so young and happy!

My hubby (did I mention how much I love that guy?) keeps sayin to me I wish I were 52 (he's 53)!

Seriously, we feel very young! Age is not going to stop us... we are bringing home the girls and then... well... we'll talk about it later.

I gotta be honest... I am posting that it's my birthday because I want a whole bunch of you to wish me a Happy Birthday. I know... it's lame but it's the truth. It would just make my day! Don't forget it was me that posted the post regarding no friends- no local friends that is... Ha- bloggy friends? Oh yea, that I have! Bloggy friends unite! Woo Hoo!

Thanks guys! for makin my day!! wink wink!

What A Week(end)!

Johnny was confirmed and Billy was his sponsor! Congratulations Johnny!

We went to the carnival at Katie's school! The girls had a blast! Since we are homeschooling it's a nice little perk to be able to go to this! In the pic they are doing the cake walk.

Anna won!! In my day we won homemade cakes! Now they get packaged H*stess products...

The kids loved the games and activities! Golf may not be in her future but she sure is a cutie trying to putt!

Devan and Billy volunteered to help with the event! He had been volunteering at the school as part of his graduation requirements. The kids in Katie's class just loved him! Katie went home after the carnival - very sick. She sure looks good for being very sick. It ended up being strep throat- she had a miserable rest of her weekend. How do I know? Because being her Momma I got the pleasure of getting at 2:30 am call- just so she could tell me how miserable she was. I handled it well and was appropriately concerned and motherly.

The girls love cotton candy!! They don't get it much but we decided to indulge them!

Billy graduated from the University of St Thomas this weekend! He had a very successful 4 years at college and now he has a job in the area! I had to mention the 4 year thing because he is our first 4 year graduate! WooHoo!!

Of course you can pick him out... right? It took us most of the ceremony to find him!

Then we got to view it on the big screen! Cozy isn't it? They should just video it and sent me a copy!

Billy and his girlfriend Kelly!

Congratulations honey! We are so proud of you!

Every time Anna sees the big kids she asks "Can I play with you phone?" The family celebrated Billy's big day! Except for Katie, who was home sick.

Next day it was a huge soccer game for JOhnny! Here are a couple of the fans! They do great as long as we bring snacks!

Future soccer player?

They won after double overtime and in a shootout! Now they have one more game left in the tournament. If they win it they will go to Regions in Ohio! WE would love to go and watch but were not quite sure how it can possibly work out with our imminent China travel. We will see? maybe we will be in Ohio with our 4 lovely daughters!! That would be awesome!

Conqueror

To say we've had some cloudy, rainy weather is an understatement. I actually don't remember when the sun shone it's shine last. I do know that it's supposed to today. We have our fingers crossed. In between rain showers this week, I took the girls to the park. Peanut had been begging to play at the playground. We ventured to a new-to-us little playground that I heard about from some other moms at my church's mom's group. It is perfect. We loved it. Perfect size. Big shady trees. There are still a couple of parks that we haven't been to, can you believe it? This is the town of parks!

The girls played in the muddy mulch. I didn't mind. This is something that pre-Pumpkin I would have not let happen. She has taught me to pick my battles. There's not much a wet wipe can't clean up and if it can't, soap and water can when we get home.

Peanut had an exciting accomplishment on our park visit. She went down the big slide! She has had quite a fear of big slides since last summer when she went down a slide, caught her foot on it and flipped forward. She didn't get hurt but it scared her from going down the big slides again.

During our visit this week, she made her way to the top of a very tall spiral slide and down she went! I couldn't believe it. She went down it at least a dozen times announcing how much fun it was. I was so proud of her because I know exactly how she felt. She is so much like her mommy. Things have to be well thought out and planned before action is taken. She gets it honestly!

Check out that beaming proud face!!! We have made quite a big deal out of this accomplishment and her bravery!

Super Star

Totally for your viewing pleasure and mine.

Come With Us...

You now know that our favorite place to visit in our community is the incredible Farmer's Market. Now it is time for you to come with us to our second favorite place to visit. The girls get pretty excited when I make the morning announcement that we are going to the.....LIBRARY!

They love the library because there is SO much to do there. I love it too! It was one of the first places we visited as a family after our move and we just fell in love.

There are 3 floors (although I've never been to the 3rd floor). We usually have to ride in the elevator at some point which is great fun for the girls. They love watching out the side window as we go up and down.

The Children's Department is bright and fun with many activities for the kids. There are computers for them to play games on.

There is a big open area in the front corner that is full of sunshine due to the huge windows. This area has bookcases under the windows full of board books that can be pulled and put back where ever they end up which is really nice! There is a life-size doll house, train table, puzzles, bead mazes, and nice comfy chairs (which I don't get to enjoy much as I am typically chasing down Pumpkin).

There is also a very cool room called the Learning and Play Space. It is enclosed and full of great play areas. There is a Mega Block building area, kitchen/grocery area, craft/art area, puzzle area, block area, and an infant play area that is enclosed from the other areas. It is awesome!

And of course we LOVE to get books. I think we currently have something like 23 items checked out. I have to say that I am using the library as much as Peanut for books. As I hear about a book that I think I would be interested in, I search the library's website for it and 9 times out of 10 they either have it or it is on order. I take full advantage of reserving books online. The really cool thing is I can pick to either get my reserved books in the library or at the drive-up window so I don't even have to get the girls out of the car if I need to pick something up. I LOVE this.

I just picked up the July-August Children's Department brochure and am blown away by all of the things they have going on! There is always something happening for kids. We have taken part in story times galore, puppet shows, meeting Biscuit the dog, crafty creations, and so on. I am thankful for such an awesome place to take the girls and meet so many neat people.

And lastly...the bears! They have two bear statues outside the library that Peanut always needs to climb on, hug and say hello to on most of our visits!

So needless to say, we love our library! Hope you enjoyed the tour!